By Kim Leatherdale
But wait, your marriage is also as good as you think. Those wonderful things you imagine and think, they are real.
No, I’m not nuts (or at least not about this.) You see, what and how you think create your relationship. Don’t believe me? Let me introduce you to Emile Coue.
Emile was a French psychologist in the early 1900s. He maintained curing some of our troubles requires a change in our unconscious thought, which can only be achieved by using our imagination. He had his patients say “Tous les jours à tous points de vue je vais de mieux en mieux” to themselves every day. (Translation: “Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better.”) He found his patients would get better quicker than those who didn’t use the mantra (even from medical problems.) Coué thus developed a method which says an idea exclusively occupying the mind turns into reality (although only if the idea is within the realms of possibility – we can’t bring someone back from the dead.)
In other words, what you think and say to yourself creates your reality.
So, if you are thinking:
“My marriage sucks”
“My relationship will never get better”
“I can never love my spouse again” – you are right.
Conversely, if you think:
“There are good things about my marriage”
“There are things I can do to improve my marriage”
“I can rebuild feelings like love” – that is true.
For the method to work, you must refrain from making a judgment; you must not let your will impose its own views on positive ideas. Meaning, you can’t say a positive and think “That’ll never happen.” You undermine the power of your thoughts.
Coue isn’t the only one who believed in the power of thought:
- “Everything you can IMAGINE is real.” -Pablo Picasso
- “Man is what he believes.” -Anton Chekhov
- “In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.” -John Lilly
- “They can conquer who believe they can.” -Virgil
Your courageous work is to spend a little time every day thinking positively about your relationship without being negative about it (or the thought.) I say “John and I love each other deeply” each morning and night while I brush my teeth, and you know what, it’s true!
Have you noticed your thoughts and attitude affecting your relationship?
About the Author: Kim Leatherdale is a licensed professional counselor and relationship blogger. She offers on-line, phone, and in office counseling and relationship coaching. For more information visit her website: CreatingRewardingRelationships, Facebook page: CreatingRewardingRelationships, or Twitter account: HappyCoupleXprt “