How to Merge Two Households

February 11, 2011

By Ranka Burzan

Couple moving in togetherWith love in the air, there might be some new couples who decide now is the time to make the leap and start living together. Merging two households can be a major challenge, especially if you are an older adult with decades of accumulated “stuff”.  Making lists and agreements before you move in with your new partner doesn’t sound very romantic but it can actually help keep the romance; instead of arguing over his favorite lamp or her knick knacks, lists and agreements will help you live in peace – maybe even until the “death do you part”.

First have family members choose from the things you would like them to have and then schedule a date for just the two of you to start sorting the rest of your possessions.  Ask friends or professionals for help rather than your family members as friends and professionals don’t have an emotional attachment to your stuff and the process of sorting and purging will go much smoother. Choose the items both of you like and need. Keep in mind the older we get, the less we need. Avoid keeping duplicates; you only need one living room set, one kitchen table and one toaster. Start with big items such as: furniture, big appliances, cars, TV’s, computers, keep the best and donate, sell or recycle the rest.

One of the smartest decisions I personally made is to downsize, sell my belongings and have a great vacation with my family. No one in my family ever mentions my china or crystal but we often talk about our vacation together. When you finish sorting and purging your stuff, don’t forget to celebrate your new beginnings and the freedom from having everything.  Make this chapter of your life exciting and enjoyable. If you like to travel, book a romantic cruise for just the two of you, learn to paint, take computer classes or writing, in another words, do whatever your heart desires.

Making a commitment to another person can be the best thing for you, but love and commitment involves dedication, compromising, and patience. Sometimes it’s advisable to see a counselor to iron out potential issues that could jeopardize an otherwise great relationship. If you have been living alone for a few years and have adjusted to living alone, you have to make a conscious decision to share your space, belongings and family.

Tips for Combining Households and Lives:

  • Set up a joint bank account in addition to your personal accounts; use it to share household expenses.
  • Consider selling your individual houses and purchasing a new home together.
  • Decide where to vacation, how to celebrate holidays, birthdays etc.
  • Decide how often and who to entertain.
  • Decide how often and where to see grandkids.
  • Discuss which organizations to belong to and what charities to support.

A word of caution; you are never going to be able to please everyone in your circles of families and friends. Be kind and considerate of others but commit and take care of each other first.

The only one who can change your life is YOU, so live the life you desire and deserve.

About the Author: Ranka Burzan is the owner of Solutions Organizing Simple, a professional organizing company and the author of Helpful Hints to Organize and Clean your Home, Your Junk or Your Life, Liberate Your Garage, Clear Your Home, Clear Your Mind and a recent published book S.O.S Guide to Organize and Clean Your Home.

Ranka & family have also created their own line of non-toxic, all natural cleaners safe for your family and pets.

For more information regarding Solutions Organizing Simple services, articles, newsletters and cleaning products visit her web site http://www.SolutionsOrganizing.com

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