Travel Torture or Vacation Va-Voom! Your Choice

March 20, 2011

By Kim Leatherdale

Vacations can be a relaxing time to reconnect with your spouse or a stressful time where the heat, strange environment and continued close proximity cause multiple fights.

Many people, myself included try to shove too many things into their days even while on “vacation.”

It may seem “natural” to multitask and keep a ton of things juggled into the air, but it negatively affects you.   It also hurts your relationships, and makes your vacations stressful and less fun.

You get tired, short-tempered, short on time, distracted, inattentive, and sometimes downright rude.  You forget things like telling your partner how important they are or even saying “good night.”  In other words, you are less patient when you are struggling to “get it all done” or “see it all.”

Not the recipe for a fun bit of travel.

You let the doing get in the way of being.  By the way, you aren’t human doings, you are human beings.

There are a multitude of books, blogs, articles, and speakers showing you how to “simplify” but most of them are really preaching how to manage your time so you can “do more.”  They’ll even tell you how to get more done during your vacation and travel.  That’s not simplifying, it’s an impossible task of trying to accomplish 12 hours of activities into 8 hours.  Travel (or your relationship) becomes torture.

Part of travel is the experience of being somewhere different.  Stop doing more and start being more, even on your vacation.


Medjet Take Trips Not Chances

Tips to Enjoy your Vacation

  • Focus on how you want to be with others, especially your partner.
  • Identify how you want to act.
  • Do the things you really want to say and do.
  • Look for what is important on your vacation.
  • Be the type of person you want to be.
  • Enjoy what is different or the same about the place you are visiting.
  • Be mindful of each moment and experience it to the fullest.

The above tips were helpful for my marriage when I travel.  I budget in time to enjoy with my husband the unexpected that comes up.  I don’t over-plan each day; we have a few things we’d like to do and take detours as well.  Often we spend time somewhere just observing the atmosphere and sights – just being.  Because we aren’t rushing everywhere, my husband and I truly enjoy our vacations.  Because we focus on enjoying the time together rather than “getting it all done” we have a great time.

Your courageous work is to stop overdoing (especially on vacation.)  Let go of the extra and pare down to who you are and what your relationship really means.  Focus on the things you truly enjoy doing with your partner when you are traveling and let yourself enjoy being somewhere different.  Stop doing all the other distracting things because you think you should.  You’ll find your vacation has more Va-voom!

Kim Leatherdale About the Author: Kim Leatherdale is a licensed professional counselor and relationship blogger. She offers on-line, phone, and in office counseling and relationship coaching. For more information visit her website: CreatingRewardingRelationships, Facebook page: CreatingRewardingRelationships, or Twitter account: HappyCoupleXprt

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  • Nomoretrips

      Our vacations have been so stressful for me because all my husband wants to do is focus seeing as much as possible and  on his photography and I stand around waiting for him.  Or, I end up walking ahead or lagging behind.  All of the interesting things around me and I am alone, upset and bored.   Or, just plane so upset that I stay in the room out of exhaustion or grief.   The feelings are so strong that efforts to “be positive” wear on me.  Now, he will be going on a vacation alone, because I feel I cannot be put in that position again.  I do not like it, but I would rather be a little sad in my own home than extremely miserable in another country with someone who is completely enjoying himself at my dispense.    

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